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January is all about detoxing and decluttering at the Imperfect Thriving podcast. We are going to rid ourselves of what weighs us down so that we can soar in 2021.

Who is with me? 

Decluttering and detoxing is the way to increase your own self value and define clarity. By removing the layers that weigh you down, you’ll begin to see your own light shine the way it is meant to shine. We are going to detox and declutter our closets, our relationships, our environments, our minds, and our calendars. 

I’m sure you have heard the saying the clothes make the man, which should definitely be changed to the clothes make the woman or even better the person.

And you may have heard someone in your life advise you to dress for the job you want, rather than the job that you have. Is there any truth to this advice?

In This Podcast

• Before decluttering, consider this
• Start with a clean slate
• How do you dress the majority of the time
• Organizing tips

Before decluttering, consider this

Determine how do you want to be perceived by others? In your job and in your life. With each outfit we intentionally or unintentionally communicate non-verbally to the outside world. If you want to be a big ideas person at work, suit up.

A study had individuals change into formal or casual clothing before they took cognitive tests. Wearing formal business attire increased abstract thinking, which is an important aspect of creativity and long-term strategizing. The experiment suggests the effect related to feelings of power.

Secondly, how do you want to feel about yourself? Our mental state most definitely affects the way we dress. The reverse may also hold true. What we wear could actually affect how we cope on days when we might be feeling depressed, anxious, or stressed out. Wearing a bright color rather than something dark can be a quick pick-me-up.

Last, what outcome do you want to achieve? If you’re not motivated to exercise daily, wear some of your gym clothes. Wearing activewear may make it more likely that you will exercise. This may happen because wearing workout gear acts as a reminder to make the healthy choice to exercise. It also eliminates one step to getting closer to working out.

Start with a clean slate

Take all of the clothes off of the rack in your closet so that you have a blank slate and nothing in your way. Then think about each occasion that we all need an appropriate outfit for: an interview, a wedding, a funeral, a graduation, and a black tie or formal event. Go through your closet and pick out one outfit for each of the above occasions that you feel good about yourself in. Not just the appropriate outfit, the one you feel best in because it will translate into how you present yourself.

If you do not have an outfit in which you feel good in for each of the above occasions, put that outfit on your wishlist to buy. For the outfits that you have selected to keep for the above occasions, slide them at the very end of the rack in your closet because these are not going to be your daily outfits. 

How do you dress the majority of the time

Do you work outside of your home or are you head of your household? Are you already in your dream job or do you want a different job altogether?

If you love your current job, go through every piece of clothing you normally wear to work and give any pieces away that you don’t feel confident wearing. Toss them if they’re not suitable for someone else to wear.

If you aspire a different job or career, go through your work clothing and give any of it away that would not fit the job you wish to have. Looking the part will help you find the confidence to go after that promotion or new job. Make sure that whatever clothes you’re wearing now are suitable for the promotion or the job that you want in the future.

If you’re head of the household and every day is different, you will need a clothing for a wide variety of activities throughout your week. Whatever the different ways that you spend your time during the week, determine whether or not you see yourself feeling confident wearing each piece of clothing to one of your activities. If you don’t feel great wearing this item of clothing, give it away.

Organizing tips

Decision fatigue is real and when we look at the same clothes every day it can feel like we’ve got nothing to wear. Take any clothes from a different season and store them away if possible. If not, push them to the edge of your closet so that they’re not in plain sight daily.

Get intentional about arranging you clothes. What will make getting ready the easiest for you? You can arrange clothes by color. Keeping pants, blouses, and so on together and arranged by colors can make mixing and matching less daunting.

Choose your five outfits in a row for your workweek ahead. No more staring at the closet in the morning trying to piece together the right outfit.

Or if it’s easiest, arrange your clothes by appropriateness of the occasion. Keep casual clothes, business clothes, then formal clothes together. We only have so much bandwidth to work with each day.

When we take the time to declutter our closet and organize our clothes, we are showing that we value ourselves. We value who we are and we value what we look like. If you are unhappy with the clothes in your closet overall, consider constructing a capsule wardrobe. Invest in basic staples that are less trendy that mix and match well together. They will stand the test of time so that you need fewer pieces.

Useful links:

• Leave Your Lights on with Shelley Buck and Kathy Curtis | IT 052
• Imperfect Thriving Facebook Group
• Imperfect Thriving on Instagram
• Imperfect Thriving Free Email Course (Your Blueprint To Thrive)

Meet Kathryn Ely

I’m Kathryn Ely and at age 50, I’m enjoying my very best life. I spent years as a lawyer and then stay-at-home mom helping others go out into the world and live their best lives. While this was very important to me, I did not realize that I was losing myself in the process. I followed all of the “shoulds” like “women should always care for others” and “taking time for yourself is just selfish”.

As two of my children were getting ready to go out into the world I realized I was lost, without my next purpose, and it was scary. So I went back to school and over the course of several years, I not only found myself, but I designed the formula for women in midlife to achieve their most fulfilling lives. It is my mission to equip as many women as possible with this design and the tools to make this chapter of their lives the best chapter.

Thanks for listening!

Did you enjoy this podcast? Feel free to leave a comment below or share this podcast on social media! You can also leave a review of the Imperfect Thriving Podcast on iTunes and subscribe!

Imperfect Thriving is part of the Practice of the Practice Podcast Network, a network of podcasts seeking to help you thrive, imperfectly. To hear other podcasts like the Bomb Mom Podcast, Beta Male Revolution, or Empowered and Unapologetic, go to practiceofthepractice.com/network.

Podcast Transcription

Happy 2021 to you, my friend. Even though our world is not yet back to normal, we can see it on the horizon. And for that, I am particularly grateful. Let’s do this. January is all about detoxing and decluttering at the Imperfect Thriving podcast. We are going to rid ourselves of what weighs us down so that we can soar in 2021.

Who is with me? 

Decluttering and detoxing is the way to increase your own self value and define clarity. By removing the layers that weigh you down, you’ll begin to see your own light shine the way it is meant to shine. We are going to detox and declutter our closets, our relationships, our environments, our minds, and our calendars. 

Now here’s the thing. I will be releasing six episodes in the month of January, instead of four. Of course, I will continue to release episodes once a week on Wednesdays. But I will release all five episodes about detoxing and decluttering as well as one very special guest episode.

That means that if you do not subscribe, you could miss one of the surprise episode drops. Now, of course, I will once again have an episode every Wednesday as usual, but I’m going to also drop two more episodes on random days throughout the month of January. So don’t miss one. Because by the end of January, if you follow along with each episode, you will be set absolutely to love yourself and crush your goals in 2021. 

Instead of new year’s resolutions that never seem to stick, let’s take daily imperfect action toward decluttering and removing the dead weight from right lives that has been holding us back. Are you with me? I sure hope so. 

(Imperfect Thriving Intro)

The researchers concluded that clothes have a symbolic meaning. When we wear an article of clothing with a specific meaning, these clothes can influence our mood and how we think about ourselves. Many studies show that what we wear affects our behavior, our mood, our attitudes, our personality, our level of confidence, and how we interact with others.

Let’s jump right in with today’s episode. We are going to start 2021 with de-cluttering our closets. Now I’m sure you have heard the saying the clothes make the man, which should definitely be changed to the clothes make the woman or even better the person.

And you may have heard someone in your life advise you to dress for the job you want, rather than the job that you have. Is there any truth to this advice? Science says yes, there is. In 2012, researchers from Northwestern University found that wearing specific articles of clothing had an effect on the wearer, psychology, and performance.

Scientists have called this effect enclothed cognition. So this term is used to describe the effect our clothes have on our emotions, our self evaluations, attitudes, and interpersonal interactions. Why do our clothes affect our behavior in our moods? Well, because of the symbolic meaning that we, as a society, give to different types of attire.

That’s right. We have shoulds about clothing based on what we have learned from the society that we grew up being a part of. We consider some clothes to be powerful, some clothes to be fun and so on and so forth. We evaluate others with whom we have just met based on their clothes and the occasion.

Research shows that women who wear more masculine clothes to an interview, such as a dress suit are more likely to be hired. People who dress conservatively are perceived as self-controlled and reliable individuals. Individuals who wear more daring clothing are viewed as more attractive and individualistic. When it comes to judging others by their clothes, there’s something called the red sneakers effect. 

So what scientists and studies have found is the studies that investigate these judgments about clothing find that people prefer clothing that matches expectations. Surgeons in scrubs, little boys in blue. With one notable exception. A series of studies published in the article in June of 2014 in the Journal of Consumer Research explored observers reactions to people who broke established norms only slightly. In one scenario, a man at a black tie affair was viewed as having higher status and competence when wearing a red bow tie. The researchers also found that valuing uniqueness increased audience members’ ratings of the status and competence of a professor who wore red converse sneakers while giving a lecture.

Now these results suggest that people judge these slight deviations from the norm as positive because they suggest the individual is powerful enough to risk the social costs of such behaviors. It shows confidence to step outside of the norm. So the gist is that we like it when others are appropriately dressed for the occasion, but put a little bit of personality or spin on it. 

Now we don’t just judge others by their clothing, we evaluate ourselves and our roles based on what we are wearing at a particular time. Because of the way the clothes make us feel. This means that the experience of wearing something subtly affects our attitudes and our choice of behavior.

So before we dive in to declutter our closets, science has given us a few other things to consider. How do you want to be perceived by others? In your job and in your life. With each outfit we intentionally or unintentionally communicate non-verbally to the outside world. Now, if you want to be a big ideas person at work, suit up.

A paper in August of 2015 in social, psychological, and personality science asked individuals to change into formal or casual clothing before they took cognitive tests. Wearing formal business attire increased abstract thinking, which is an important aspect of creativity and long-term strategizing.

So this experiment suggests the effect related to feelings of power. So how do you want to be perceived by others? Secondly, how do you want to feel about yourself? Feeling low, cranky, sad? Well, our mental state most definitely affects the way we dress. The reverse may also hold true. What we wear could actually affect how we cope on days when we might be feeling depressed, anxious, or stressed out.

Research says the quickest little fix for a bad day is to wear brightly colored clothes. Cheerful colors, work as a mini picnic and boost our mood and energy. And we associate bright colors with happiness, sunny days, and carefree times. On the other hand, we associate deep and dull colors with low energy, being tired and a more somber mood. So the next time you feel like putting on a dark hoodie on a bad day, reach out for a bright color pullover instead, and it might make you feel a little bit happier. 

Amazingly, even what we wear underneath our clothes affects the way that we feel about ourselves. Hidden clothes like socks and underwear can exert a powerful influence on our self perception and our confidence levels.

Wearing something we perceive as sexy can make us feel more self-assured, more powerful, and more confident. So reach for something that already has positive associations, like a favorite pair of earrings or a flattering pair of jeans. Clothing, and accessories can have a big impact impact on how you carry yourself.

So next, ask yourself, what outcome do you want to achieve? If you’re not motivated to exercise daily, wear some of your gym clothes, or at least carry them with you. Wearing your gym clothes or active wear makes it more likely that you will actually exercise. This may happen because wearing our workout gear acts as a reminder to make the healthy choice to exercise.

And for many having the clothes on eliminates the step of dressing for exercise and reduces one of our excuses for not exercising. So now that we know what science tells us about our clothes and how we present to others and how our clothes make us feel about ourselves, let’s get in and declutter our closets.

Start by taking all of the clothes off of the rack in your closet so that you have a blank slate and nothing in your way. So first think about each occasion that we all need an appropriate outfit for number one an interview, number two a wedding, number three a funeral, four a graduation and five, a black tie or formal event. Go through your closet and pick out one outfit for each of the above occasions that you feel good about yourself in.

We don’t just want the outfit to be appropriate for the occasion. We want you to feel good about who you are in it because we know this will affect how you present yourself at the event and how you enjoy the event. If you do not have an outfit in which you feel good in for each of the above occasions, put that outfit on your wishlist to buy. And the outfits that you have selected to keep, take all of these outfits for the above occasions and put them at the very end of the rack in your closet because these are not going to be outfits that you go to daily. 

They are going to be outfits that you wear less often. So put them on the edge of the rack. Now that you know, you have something to wear for each particular important occasion or you know what’s going to be on your shopping list for what you need and want for those particular occasions.

Now, we want to think about how you dress for the majority of your time. Do you work outside of your home or are you CEO of your own household? Are you already in your dream job or do you really desire a promotion or a different job other than the one that you have? Remember dress for the job that you want and the desired effect that you want rather than for where you are right now.

If you love your current job and wish for nothing more then dress appropriately for this job and only clothes that you are confident in. Go through every piece of clothing you normally wear to work and give any pieces away or toss them if they’re not suitable for someone else to wear. If they’re damaged, worn, or you just don’t feel great in this particular piece of clothing, it’s time to give it away to someone else. Or toss it, if it’s not suitable, if it’s damaged in such a way that’s not suitable for anyone else to wear. 

Now if you aspire to a different job or career, go through your work clothing and give any of it away, any and all items that would not fit the job you aspire to have. Research shows that women only apply for promotions or jobs that they feel 100% qualified for.

Whereas men will apply if they think they are only 30% qualified for the new job or the promotion. Looking the part will help you find the confidence to go after that promotion or new job. So make sure that whatever clothes you’re wearing now are suitable for the promotion or the job that you want in the future.

If you’re the chief operating officer of your own home and family every day is different, you will need a clothing for a wide variety of activities throughout your week. Go through each piece of clothing and imagine wearing it to one of your varying activities. It might be lunch. It might be a workout.

It might be shopping. It might be volunteering. Whatever it is, the different ways that you spend your time during the week, hold up the piece of clothing and determine whether or not you see yourself in this and feel good in this wearing to one of your activities. If you don’t feel like your most confident self, picturing yourself wearing this item of clothing, then give it away.

Once again, make sure you toss anything that has worn, damaged, or frayed. Keep any pieces that you feel good about wearing to one of your varied activities. We are looking to keep the clothes that present you to the world the way that you want to present yourself, but does so in an authentic way so that you feel comfortable and confident in the clothes that you’re wearing. 

If there is any piece that you did not wear once in the previous year, go ahead and let it go. If there is a solo piece that you don’t wear because you have nothing to wear with it, you have a choice to make right now, either toss it, if you don’t love it.

Or if you do love it, make a note of what you want to buy in the future to wear it with so that you can keep an eye out and find something to wear that much beloved piece of clothing with. Now your closet should only have items that are appropriate for the life that you want to have. That you feel confident in.

Now it’s time to go through your underwear and your lingerie. If there is something that is stretched out, torn or worn out, toss it keep only the undergarments that help you feel the way you want to feel. It does not matter if anyone else will ever see these undergarments. This is for you. Not for anyone else.

And if there is nothing in there that makes you feel good about who you are in the direction that you’re heading, then make sure you start a list right now of what you are going to buy when it fits within your budget. It might be immediately, it might be down the road, but go ahead and put it on your list.

What do you need that’s going to make you feel confident before you even put your other clothes on. Now it’s not enough to have just decluttered and gotten rid of anything that doesn’t make us feel good about ourselves. It’s time for us to arrange our clothing in a way that dressing every day is easier.

How many times have you walked into your closet and thought, I have nothing to wear? Much of that is because of the way that the clothes are arranged. Decision fatigue is a real thing. One reason we want only the clothes that we feel good in to remain in our closet is because it just makes getting ready easier.

The other thing that we can do to make getting ready easier is arrange our clothes in an order that makes doing so easier. Now, if you have another closet or another storage area, remove all of your clothing from any other season, besides the one that you’re currently in and put these clothes in another closet or another storage area.

 Now if no extra closet or storage area is available to you, I get it. You may be somewhere where space is a premium. At least take the clothes that are out of season. Put them all together and put them on the edge of your closet. So they are not the first things that you see every day when you get dressed and they’re not intermingled among the clothes that are appropriate for this season. 

Now think about your lifestyle, what kind of intentional arrangement of clothing will make getting ready the easiest for you? Here’s some options first. You can arrange clothes by color. This works for me. I find it easy to mix and match outfits this way.

I keep all my pants together, assorted by color, all of my blouses together, assorted by color. Jackets, et cetera. Therefore, it’s very easy for me to pull clothes that are appropriate for the season based on the color and based on all the blouses as being in one place, all the pants being in one place. This works easily for me, it may not be what works for you.

You might like to choose five outfits in a row for your workweek and go ahead and arrange them accordingly in your office. This may make getting dressed in the morning a breeze for you. That might be what works best for you. Another way to arrange your clothes is to arrange by appropriateness for occasion. You could arrange all of your casual or weekend clothes together.

All of your business attire together, your church or more formal attire together. Once again, it’s all about what makes making choices and dressing easiest for you. We only have so much bandwidth to work with each day. We do not want to exhaust our decision-making before we leave the house by getting rid of damaged, stretched out torn clothes or clothes that we just don’t feel good about ourselves.

Then we are showing that we value ourselves. We value who we are and we value what we look like. If you are unhappy with the options in your closet overall, consider constructing a capsule wardrobe. Invest in staples that are less trendy, that mix and match well together and stand the test of time so that you need fewer pieces.

That way you can always keep an eye out for a good deal and a good deal on what you need, if you keep a wishlist of these items in your phone. So if there’s something that you have noticed that you don’t have yet that would really be a great addition to your wardrobe, put it on a list on your phone so that you can keep an eye out for that particular item anytime that you’re shopping. 

Now do you feel lighter? Do you feel less way down and a little more self-confident with a little more self value? I hope that you do this podcast is the first of five podcasts designed to help you declutter your life. Let go of dead weight so that you can increase yourself value and soar in 2021. 

The clothes don’t make the woman or the person, but they do make it easier or more difficult to be who we want to be. It’s not about who designed the clothes or the name on the label. It’s all about how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you in your clothing. We only want the clothes that boost our confidence, lift our moods and tell the world I value myself. You should value me too. I have a lot to offer you world. Pay attention. Hit me up @ImperfectThriving on Instagram and share your thoughts with me about this episode. I answer all of my DMs and I would love to hear from you now. I will join you right back here next week. But until then go out and declutter your closet is the first imperfect action you can take to soar in 2021.